Snippet from a recent four-hour catch-up call with one of my absolutely favoritest boys:
"Did I ever tell you about the first time I met HBHunter's family?" he asks me.
"No," I say. "Tell!"
"Well," he says, "she told me to come over, but I guess she hadn't told her parents I was coming or anything. So I arrive at the house and the first thing I see is -- outside in the front yard, hanging from a tree -- two deer carcasses that are being drained of blood."
"So I head inside, and I've got the full multicolored mohawk and the studded jacket going on, and first thing I see when I get inside is that totally coincidentally her dad is sitting at the living room table and he's got his guns on the table and he is cleaning his four guns - two handguns, a rifle, and what he said was another handgun but I swear with the barrel on that thing it was like another rifle."
I'm like, "Oh God, that must have been a moment."
He goes, "So I go in the kitchen with her and her mom is there, and I gather she'd told her mom she met a cute boy with a mohawk at school, because her mom turns to look at me and the first thing that comes out of her mouth is: 'I told you not to bring him here.'"
And now I'm laughing. "Were you scared?"
"Well, I was trying to think about the situation from an objective perspective -- like, these people are probably reasonable and will probably not shoot me without first at least telling me to get off their property."
"If I'd thought about it more from the perspective of my personal reaction to the situation, it might have been different."
"You know," I say, "I use you as an example of a certain kind of guy."
He bites. "What kind?"
"Well, I think there's a certain kind of guy who's good with women, you know -- but doesn't really know why exactly or what he does, or think about it that much. So these guys end up with the girls who want it most, which is to say -- the craziest girl."
Now he's laughing. "Yeah," he says. "That's pretty much me."
"Your girl now sounds pretty sane, though."
"Oh no," he says, "she's batshit nuts. I'm totally infatuated with her, though."